I watch a lot of teen dramas and the way the "first time" is approached always interests me.
I saw Little Darlings a few days ago and the way Kristy McNichol looks after her character has had sex for the first time just makes me want to hug her. She just looks so awful. As a girl, you're force fed this line that sex is beautiful and amazing.
The first time though it just isn't. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. It feels like a violation. Someone has literally been inside of you.
Don't get me wrong: I like sex now. I even think sex isn't really a big deal once you've done it. But why does it have to be so weird in the beginning.
The other thing I don't get about tv is that young couples always go from making out to sex. There is never any in-between. There is no third base - just sliding into home plate. I had a lovely boyfriend when I was 18. He was younger, but let's say he'd had a lot of girlfriends. He never pressured me to have sex with him, but we fooled around.
He was the best boyfriend a virgin teenage girl could ask for. He was sweet, kind and gentle. He taught me the importance of intimacy. I never slept with him, but I wish that I had. I wish my first time would have been with someone who made me feel safe in his arms. Someone who would have held me afterwards and made sure I was okay. But, I ran from him. Probably because my feelings for him were so big they scared me.
Instead I slept with the wrong choice in a nasty boy's dorm. I desrved better.
If I had to speak to a class full of high school girls I would tell them: in the end, sex isn't really a big deal. Make sure you're safe and that you know what you want. But that first time, don't just do it to get it over with. Do your best to make sure you feel secure and respected that first time.
