Sunday, July 11, 2010

Making Friends is Hard.

I don't go out of my way to make friends at a new job. Not because I'm unfriendly, but mostly because I want to make a good impression and keep my head bent to get the job done. I'm also pretty introverted around people I don't know well. Which, I guess is the problem, how will you ever get to know anyone well if you keep to yourself.

People who don't know me very well usually describe me as sweet or nice. The thing is, I'm really more acerbic than sweet. I get along with other people just fine, but my internal monologue is not for the thin skinned.

When I first started my current job I found out they offered a "boot camp" workout. I guess being in a new environment made me brave because I signed up for the damn class. It was eight weeks of intense workouts with people I didn't know. I did it to network with a small group of people. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. It's hard to have a conversation when you're gasping for breath. Also, the boot camp people were so damn wholesome.

I still don't have a huge circle of friends at work, but there are a few people who pop their heads into my office just to chat. The two people I'm REALLY close with I cyber-stalked on Facebook before approaching them in person. That sounds a lot creepier than what I actually did, but if you're really an introvert I think you know what I mean.

I hope.

One person I "friended" on FB and realized that he and I have a lot of the same friends, but we've never met. He even knows my neighbors! We'd chatted a few times at work and gone to lunch together when one day he stopped by my office and said, "I'm always at ___ on Friday nights, so if you and your husband want to stop by join us! It's a standing invitation!" I know this sounds infantile, but I was really excited because it means he really likes me! We've since met him on Friday nights and had a fantastic time.

The other person I'm close with at work has been a pleasant surprise. There was a woman I kept running into around my side of town. I mean at the gym, Wal-Mart, the flea market . . . I figured it would be good to know her because she must live near me and it's good to know someone who can give you a ride to work if you need it. It turns out she lives less than five minutes away from me, and she's awesome!

We have the same sense of humor, and we're both wretchedly inappropriate. If we're together you can bet we're giggling. She's also got a foul mouth, so you know I feel right at home! We've already gotten together after work to share a bottle of wine and kvetch about work.

So, that's what's been going on with me. Working and making friends.