Steve and I have decided not to have children. If you know me well, you are aware of this already.
I guess I'm addressing this here because in previous entries I've said that I might want to have children someday. I think I only said those things because it was the right thing to say.
Or, maybe I'm just a flip-flopper.
The truth is I have never wanted children. When I was a child I knew girls who would pretend their baby dolls were realy babies. They would change them, feed them, put them in a toy stroller and push it along the sidewalk. I never did that.
I clearly remember that at one point I set up a daycare in my bedroom closet. I'd dress my dolls, carry them around, and then I'd drop them off at daycare saying, "Okay, it's time to go to daycare." I'd leave them there for days at a time.
I could understand if this behavior had been modeled for me at home, but my mom was an at-home mother, and my brother and I never went to daycare. I've just never been the mothering kind.
Last fall I told my mom that I didn't want children, and she was not happy. I said that I was sorry I wouldn't be providing her with grandchildre, but that Steve and I are happy and don't want our lives to change.
She said to me, "Children won't change your life."
I smirked and said, "Mom, come on . . ."
She started laughing and said, "Okay, yeah, you're right . . . "
My not wanting children always gets misinterpreted as me not liking children. That's not true. I love the smell of a clean baby's head, and the way smile at you like you're the only person in the world. I get the appeal, I just don't want a child in my life. Neither does Steve.
I've asked him because sometimes I worry that he just doesn't want to rock the boat. But, he said, "No, I really like being selfish. I couldn't buy the antique tools I've bought or the scooter. I'd have to save all that money for diapers and formula. Not to mention saving for college."
Thank God.
2 comments:
It's takes courage to go against what society tells you you should want. You and Steve know what you want--or in this case, DON'T want--and you won't be making the mistake of having children and then regretting it.
Having children won't change your life? LOL! Good one, Mama Martinez.
I've wanted children my entire life and always assumed I'd have a large family. A couple years ago, I started looking into adoption. Then my dogs started fighting, and I had all the drama with them. I realized that if I can't raise happy dogs, how could I possibly expect to raise a happy child alone? So I've recently given up the dream of being a father. I'm not happy about it, but I accept it.
I really think that is great. Having a child is a lot of work. Don't get me wrong, I love my child, but I also remember the time that my house use to be clean. I would have a guestroom instead of a pig pen in my house. I wouldn't have to worry about homework or grades. And I miss the time when my husband and I could just take off to see any movie we wanted to. Disney is now my sole entertainment. Yup, babies are cute, but they turn into kids, then teenagers. Pray for mojo.
C.
Post a Comment