Is that Allen Funt?

I don't get hit on very often.

It just doesn't happen with any great frequency, so imagine my surprise when it actually does.

Recently, I was on a business trip and had just wrapped up a particulary hellish day. Now, any of you who travel for work are familiar with the blessed corporate expense account.

So, I'd been fantasizing about good food, wine and cheesecake and I made a date with myself to go to The Cheesecake Factory. I realize it's not the most inspired choice, but mmmmmmmmmmmmm cheesecake. Besides, I wasn't paying for it so why the hell not.

I walk in, and just as I'm being walked to my table I started thinking about a conversation I'd recently had with J.

I'd recently convinced him to buy a pink button down. He was a little nervous because, as you know, it takes a real man to wear pink.

So, he starts punking out on me saying, "Trixie, I'm gay and all, but none of the guys at work now."

Me, "Wearing pink doesn't mean you're gay. Besides, lots of men are wearing pink. It's the new black!"

Him, "Okay, but what am I supposed to do when they give me a hard time about wearing pink?"

Me, "Just tell them pink is the new black"

Then he gave me that, "Ohhhhhh. OKAY - that'll make it better," sarcastic face of his and we both started laughing.

So, I walked into the restaurant smiling and started glancing at the menu.

When, out of nowhere this good looking gentleman comes over to my table and says, "I was sitting at the bar and I saw you come in. I'm up here on business and I was wondering if you knew of any places that might be cool to hang out?"

Me, smiling and putting on my Chamber of Commerce voice, "Oh, there's lots of things to do in Birmingham. You should check out Five Points, that's a cool little area. And, if you've got time during the day the State Park has some nice hikes. Or, you know, there's always shopping (and I gestured out the window at the sprawling mall). I'm sorry, I'm up here on business, too, andI don't really know much of Birmingham either."

Him, "Well, I don't get much time during the day since I'm at a conference. I'm on business, too, I'm staying at the Marriott nearby."

Now, right about here was when I realized he was waiting for me to say, "Oh, I'm staying at The ______________," but I've seen too many episodes of A&E's Crime Files to know this is when shit starts to go awry.

So, I said, "I'm sure that's a nice hotel and I'll be the people at the front desk could give you tons of information on local attractions."

Then he says, "I'm only here for one more night anyway. Are you going to be back up this way for dinner tomorrow night."

Me, "I'm not really sure just yet what I'm doing for dinner."

Him, "Because, I was thinking maybe we could get together for dinner."

Me, inside my head, "Wah!!!!! ARE YOU HITTING ON ME!"

I was thisclose to leaning out of the booth to find a camera crew moving in my direction to tell me that I was on Candid Camera.

Instead, I played it cool, "Oh no, I'm busy tomorrow night. Yes, yes, I'm very busy. Very busy. I'll probably have dinner with one of the instructors even. Nope, nope, sorry, busy."

Him, "Oh."

Then I did that goofy thing that girls do: shrugged my shoulders, crinkled my nose, smiled and said, "Sorry."

After he'd walked away I sat there with a smirk on my face thinking, "Holy shit! I was just hit on! Someone hit on ME!"

And, truth be told, he wasn't bad looking.

I retold my brother this story and he asked me, "Why didn't you tell him, 'I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend."

You know, I'd thought about it, it was right there at the tip of my tongue when I realized this guy was hitting on me and then I realized his response might have been, "Hey, I'm just talking about dinner."

You see, I read Cosmo and watch tv so I know these things.

Later on, I asked myself, "If I wasn't dating S, would I have said yes?"

Fuck no, I watch CSI, Crime Stories, Forensic Files, The Deliberate Stranger:

I know what happens to the young girl who accepts an invitation from a good looking stranger!

Dude, wherever you are out there, it's not like I'm saying I thought you were a serial killer or anything, but I'm already taken.

Taken, yes, very, very taken.