Just Say No

When to walk away from a proposal.

My ex and I were leaving campus for the summer and he was helping me pack my car.

We hugged good-bye and he said, "I hate that we can't be together."

Me, "Yeah, it sucks but your parents are only 20 minutes away."

Him, "Let's not do it anymore."

Me, "Well, I don't think my dad would keep paying tuition if I move in with a guy."

Him, "It's not just the holidays. I want to always be with you. Marry me."

Me, "Uh, uh, uh . . . are you serious?"

Right here it still sounds all sweet and a little clumsy.

Then he busts up with: "If you don't say yes now, I might never get the nerve to ask again."

Right at that last line I should have hopped in my car and PEELED. THE. FUCK. OUT.

But, because I was 20 and didn't know any better I thought it was romantic and said yes.

I didn't even get a bended knee or a ring.

Not that it's all about the ring, but COME ON!!!!

Next time, I'm not accepting any proposal unless it involves a pretty ring and the gentleman assumes the position.

Funny side story.

New guy and I were hanging out at recently and he busted out with some chocolate covered strawberries.

I'm sitting at the edge of a recliner, waiting for him to come back from the fridge and he drops down on one knee in front of me.

Ya'll, things are going great and I still get all weak-kneed and butterfly stomachy when I think about him or when I talk to him (and since it's long distance ya'll, I treasure those talks).

I mean, I literally feel 16 here!

So when he dropped down on one knee* like that I panicked and got that whole "deer in headlights" look and went pale.

I actually slid off the recliner and ended up sitting next to him on the floor.

He was all, "Are you okay?"

Me, "Yeah, yeah, don't worry about me . . . "

DUDES IN THE READING AUDIENCE... if you're dating a woman, NEVER EVER drop down on one knee in front of her.

Even if it's to tie your shoes.

*By the way, he dropped down on one knee to feed me the strawberries. Which, was incredibly sweet, but STILL!