My brother has cautioned me against coming out about my Oprah hate, because he is concerned for my safety. He is sure that Oprah's henchmen are trolling the internets looking for Oprah desecrators.
So, if I turn up missing you'll know who to investigate first.
In the early days, I used to watch Oprah with alarming regularity. Then I graduated college and got a job that conflicted with my Oprah habit.
A few years ago, I fell back into the Oprah vortex. I started watching the show with great regularity only to find myself increasingly rolling my eyes.
Why?
OH MY GOD!
Every other comment out of Oprah's mouth is a tale about herself.
It's got nothing to do with the interviewee.
Take for example when she had Jerry Seinfeld on the show (Mind you, this is a dramatic recreation as transcripts from The Oprah Winfrey Show are locked up tighter than Stedman.)
Oprah: Tell me about the first time you went on Carson.
Seinfeld (as heard by Oprah): Woh, woh, woh, woh woh.
Oprah: Oh, I remember the first time I went on Carson . . .
Or, anytime an actor discusses his or he latest film.
Oprah: Tell me about what you did to prepare for that scene.
Actor (as heard by Oprah): Woh, woh, woh, woh woh.
Oprah: Oh, I remember when I was filming The Color Purple, Steven Speilberg . . .
The one that threw me over the edge was the interview she did with Annie Leibovitz on Thursday, November 16, 2006. The audience sees Ms. Leibovitz's powerful images throughout the interview and Oprah goes on and on about her talent and wraps up the interview with this:
"We haven't seen my favorite of Annie's images . . . (wait for it) . . . it's a picture of ME . . . "
I kid you not!!!!!!!!!!!!
This narcissism of hers drives me crazy. I realize it's her show, but I don't watch it because I want to hear the same tired Oprah stories. I watch it because I want to see her interview her guests.
It's like the magazine. Does she really need to have her picture on every cover?
As she's so fond of saying, "Weeeeee, GET IT! It's YOUR magazine!"
Even Martha doesn't feel the need to put her mug on every cover.
But, Oprah is like crack and I cannot break her spell.
So, what I do now is play a drinking game wherein I take a shot everytime Oprah brings the interview back to herself and everytime she makes a veiled lesbian reference about Gail.
I should need that new liver by Christmas.
Today's possible lesbian comment: I'm hear in Seattle with the cast of Grey's Anatomy and I called Gayle at "OUR" Connecticut home.
DRINK!
5 comments:
She did say "our" home in CT. However, when I turned on the closed captioning, it said,"the" home in CT.
Beware of the lawyers...they are always watching.
OMG, I totally feel like I'm listening to Carlos. LOL.
Okay, the "our home" comment may just convert me into a lesbian believer.
Thank God that someone out there is not in a zombie-like trance for Oprah. I completely agree about the magazine. They are other people in the world who do good things too.But the things she does are not for other people but for herself.Those cars she gave away didn't cost her a dime, but the people she gave them to had to pay tax on them.Feeling good about helping people is it's own reward, not ratings! I wish she would realize that there are plenty of people in the US who need schools and education too!
But the Best was Anderson Cooper was on and showed a poor little girl who was underpriviledged. He said how incredible the child was He said she'll be allight, that she is a "STAR" Whereupon Oprah said ,"Yes she is a STAR !!She's got It! That's why I am weeping , She reminds me of..... Me !!!!!!!
Oprah is the original , Oh I like the way that sounds "I think i'll start saying it myself". She has no intellect herself she is totally derivitive. The skinny and fat cover shotof her side by side were both retouched to make her thinner aith quasi abs and the other side was retouched to make her more flatteringly fat. i think she is HOOT !!
But the Best was when Anderson Cooper was on and he showed a poor little girl who was underpriviledged but gifted.She had an ebullient personality. Anderson said how incredible the child was. He said," Don't worry,She'll be allight, she is a "STAR"
Whereupon Oprah said ,"Yes she is a STAR !! She's got It! That's why I am weeping , She reminds me of..... Me !!!!!!! I think she is HOOT !!
Sadly Oprah is the original , Oh I like the way that sounds "I think I'll start saying it myself". She has no intellect, she is bascically derivitive. The thin and fat cover shot of her side by side were both RETOUCHED to make her EVEN THINNER WITH QUASI- ABS and the other side was retouched to make her more FLATTERING FAT. SHE IS MUCH LARGER THAN SHE WAS PROTRAYED ON THAT COVER, and before the gain --SHE WAS NOT THAT THIN AT ALL.
Rent the film "The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie" with Maggie Smith as a charismatic monster of a teacher with her mob of little worshippers hanging on her every word, if you want to see another OPRAH-esque character. Miss Brodie is frightening and she about sums up Winfrey .
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