Holiday Cheer

The last time I was with my brother he turned to me and said, "I have no idea how to deal with in-laws. What are the rules?"

I replied, "The first rule of in-laws is you don't talk about the in-laws."

Yes, it's an old joke but it's true.

One has to be careful when it comes to in-laws. I think as a general rule you shouldn't initiate any discussion about your in-laws unless your partner introduces the conversation. Even then you have to tread carefully.

You don't just hop in the car after a family dinner and say, "Man, you're sister's kind of a bitch isn't she?"

You save that for your rage diary.

No. You hop in the car and say, "Dinner was really good wasn't it?"

If say, your partner turns to you and says, "It was good. Hey, did you notice anything about _______?"

You ask, "Like what?"

Then he's free to elaborate and you can comment, but only on the issues he brings up.

Don't try to add in your own colorful observations.

Apply these rules to any in-law: mothers, cousins, brothers, sisters . . .

However, if your partner's sibling wields a knife at you, or your mother-in-law flat out accuses you of being a snob then have your partner hold you back and let you go when they least expect it.