Baby Machine

Again?

That was the first thing I thought when one of my university friends sent me an email announcing that she's having a boy, let's call her Crafty.

This is Crafty's 3rd child, and if my calculations are correct she will have three children under the age of six in her house. All I can think is, "STOP!" Look into some birth control, some hobbies . . . I don't know, anything.

Crafty is a year younger than I am and has been married for (I think) nine years now. She married her high school sweetheart even. In fact, I think I was Maid-of-Honor in her wedding.

I don't really remember now because it seems it was such a long time ago and Crafty and I have really lost touch.

We just email occasionally now.

Anyway, she graduated from school with a degree in Human Ecology (Home Ec) with an emphasis in Fashion Design.

This is what I remember about Crafty the most.

See, she made a dress for me once. Such a cute dress that I got a zillion compliments on it the first time I wore it. People who didn't even know me were whispering, "Oh my god, look at that cute dress."

I heard them, even.

I graduated a year before she did and so did her spouse.

Being military, her spouse took off for training and then his first assignment, which meant that Crafty had to stay at university for 6 months without him.

Crafty was lost without him. She was so upset that she wanted to just quit school. Actually said, "It's not like I plan on ever really using my degree so I don't see the point in staying here without him."

Now, even though she was married her parents were still paying for her tuition, and having footed my own bill (partially) through college this really annoyed me.

The thing is, Crafty only went to university because her parents "made her." She went with the whole Fashion Design thing because she loved to sew (even though, she admitted, that in high school she was super competitive and always felt a small victory when she'd get a slightly higher grade than Sweetheart in Calculus). By all means, Crafty could have gone into the "hard sciences" and done really well.

In general, when I think about Crafty I get kind of annoyed.

Why? I have no idea.

As far as I know, she's thrilled being a stay-at-home mom, and I know that's what she's always wanted. She always used to say that she just wanted to be a wife and mom, but deep down I want more for her.

Maybe some part of me wants to validate my choices to work and forego children.

There's also a little part of me that thinks, "Why did she even bother with school?"

What was the point of having your parents shell out, out-of-state tuition when you had no intention of using your degree whatsoever?

To that, I think I have at least one answer.

Crafty's parents pretty much told her it was university or she was on her own.

And, I think, good god . . . why did all those women before us fight so hard for equality and opportunity when there's the likes of you running around?

You with your education and your decision to just pass GO and collect your MRS.

Then I realize, they did it for her.

They did it so that she could have that choice.

So, thanks Crafty for exercising your right to choose motherhood with no apologies to bitches like me who sometimes forget that it was about choice.

Congratulations on Baby 3!