An Actual Conversation on Instant Messenger

The following is a conversation held with my dad via IM:

Dad says:
Hola hija que tal estas?

Translation: Hello daughter, how are you?

Trixie says:
Good, oooh it's Mardi Gras day. You have the day off.

Trixie says:
Is it raining?

Dad says:
Hay 60% de chance pero no esta lloviendo.

Translation: There's a 60% chance, but it is not raining.

Dad says:
Como seguiste,dice tu Mami si ya estas mejor.

Translation: How have you been, you mom says you are better.

[I've been getting over a head cold.]

Trixie says:
Yeah, I feel good. I am still blowing my nose and coughing but I'm not tired anymore.

Dad says:
Ok that's a good sign.

Dad says:
Estas tomando medicina?

Translation: Are you taking medicine?

[Any time one of us coughs or sniffles my mom's first response is, "Are you taking medicine." So, the running gag at our house is to ask if you are taking medicine with varying degrees of panic in our voice.]

Trixie says:
No, I sleep well at night.

Dad says:
OK, Jason va a recibir su K. Cake hoy, ojala le guste.

Translation: Ok, Jason will recieve his King Cake today. I hope he likes it.

[It's Mardi Gras and King Cake is a sweet sugary confection sold only during carnival season and only regionally. Read more here: http://www.mardigrasunmasked.com/mardigras/king_cake.htm The first year J and I moved to CO, mom and dad sent us a king cake. It was a complete surprise and they did it every year until I moved to AL because they figured I could get it now that I was back in the South. Boy did they rue the day they quit sending one. We got one the following year. Yes, I am "the baby." ]

Melissa says:
Will they deliver it if he isn't home I wonder? I know he'll love it. That was very nice of you guys to do that for him.

Dad says:
You know we like him.

Dad says:
I think he is a good man.

Trixie says:
Well, you're certainly nicer to him now that he's not my husband.

Dad says:
I don't think so.

[I call bullshit and if J is reading this, he's probably just let out a loud, "HA!" and is also calling bullshit.]

Trixie says:
I do. Mom was always nice but you were different.

Dad says:
You know I'm overprotective when it comes to you, I'm thinking always of abusive men.

[Which, I misread as, "I'm thinking always of abusing men."]

Dad says:
I know that was not the case with him.

Trixie says:
Oh god, that's so funny. You know, there are certain red flags when it comes to abusive men.

[Read more here: http://www.acadv.org/abusers.html#characteristics]

Trixie says:
I used to work for the Coalition Against Domestic Violence. I remember the warning signals.

Trixie says:
I know what to look for and if I ever suspected anything like that the guy wouldn't be around for long.

Dad says:
I know.

Trixie says:
And, don't worry about that with S. He treats me with a lot of respect and gives me a lot of room to do what I need to do.

Dad says:
Ok, it is good to hear that.

Trixie says:
He's actually a lot like J in some ways only better because, you know . . . not gay.

Trixie says:
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Jesus says:
jajajaja

Translation: hahahaha

Trixie says:
Seriously, be nice to S. He's a good man.

Dad says:
Ok I'll try.

Trixie says:
And, most importantly, S treats J with a lot of respect.

Dad says:
Yes I have noticed that.

Trixie says:
Not a lot of straight men are comfortable with gay men, and I honestly think that S doesn't think of J as gay.

Trixie says:
He just thinks of J as . . . a guy.

Trixie says:
And, J treats S with a lot of respect. Trust me, if J didn't like S he would tell me. That is what best friends do.

Dad says:
Ok, we are going to the parades this afternoon, weather permitting.

[This is dad's not-so-subtle way of changing the subject. Yes, he is this abrupt in person as well.]

Trixie says:
Good!!! Mom will like that!

Trixie says:
Are you taking T?

[My mom's sister, my aunt.]

Dad says:
She is going with Shero to the Casino.

[This was funny to me because it's become family folklore. My aunt's boyfriend has been around for years, but my aunt's first language is not English so she has always called him "Shero." When I was filling out wedding invitations I asked my brother, "How do you spell Shero?" And my brother ask me, "Are you serious?" and then proceeds to laugh like a hyena. He finally composes himself and says, "It's Sheryl." Me, "Ohhhhhhhh . . . "]

Dad says:
WE might end up going too, we'll see.-Talk to you later.

Trixie says:
Have fun!!!

Trixie says:
Don't let mom flash for beads.

Dad says:
No, I wont.