Classic

A few months ago I called my mom to tell her that my divorce had been finalized. She said to me, "Well that was quick! I'll bet you were more eager than J to get that going."

Me, "Actually, it was J that got us the lawyer and set up the appointments."

Mom, a moment of silence, then, "Well, It's not like your looking to get married any time soon are you?"

Me, incredulously, "To WHOM?"

Mom, "Well, Stanley!"

Alright, the thing is, I know she knows S's name and I know she know's it's NOT Stanley.

And because I'm a mean daughter I decided to have a little fun with her.

Me, "Who's STANLEY?!?"

Mom, frustrated, "Oh, you know - S----!"

Me, laughing, "Mom! Who do you think I am J-Lo?"

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Over Labor Day weekend I went in to NO on Thursday night. I took Friday off and stayed through Monday. This is the longest I've been home in a while. On Sunday, mom and dad decided to go to Pontchatoula. They like going to the farmer's market out there as well as this antique store they've just found. My Aunt Toya joined us as well.

I had maybe 10 pages left to read of To Kill A Mockingbird and when you're that close you just don't want to stop. So, I took it in the car with me and kind of half-listened to the conversation on the way to Pontchatoula.

My Aunt was talking about McD and how he'd gone out the night before.

She said, "No se. I don't know where he went - he just said there was music all night long y bailo, he danced."

Me, "He went to the House of Blues."

Everyone, "Huh? How do you know?"

Me, "He told me last night. Said it was Latin night."

Toya, "Si, si, he said they played salsa music, merengue and punta."

Me, "Right, Latin night."

Dad, "Can Donald dance that?"

Mom, "Ah, he just does like on the MTV. In the videos. Asi, like dees . . . "

And Mom busts out the pimp haaaands!

Hands all waving in the air like she just don't care.

(Pimp hands. Like you’re in your hooptie, and it’s got the mad hydraulics, and you’re just like, unh! TM Chiara Pimp Haaaands should not be confused with Raising the Roof Hands - which require one to turn palms upwards and push up).

My aunt, "Ah, si si, like dees."

And then SHE busts out with the pimp hands.

But, not only is she waving the hands like she just don't care - she's also rocking her body back and forth to this silent rhythm that she and my mom are big pimpin' to!

For that brief moment, it was as if dad's Toyota Camry had been turned into that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem's rockin' the mike and all the people in the club have the single-handed pimp hand going.

I love my family!